Don't you worry, I'll always be your friend Let us not forget I could never be, anything else So we'll swap text messages with hidden meanings A smiley face is misconstrued for my real feelings All the boys love Mandy Lane All the boys love Mandy Lane All the boys love Mandy Lane But what is it about her That makes me go insane Kisses that mean nothing Conversations you thought meant something All that they amount to Is absolutely nothing So fuck the past, fuck the skies Fuck the grass, and the look in your eyes I may have loved you back then, but now All I remember are the lies

I can't sit down to family meals anymore I've lost my appetite and traded it for a fear of crying So forgive me, if I can't answer how my job is going Or how many years I have left at college I'm losing too many people and gaining far too needless a knowledge Of how the world works, and how people really are And this is all just a cover up Smile and wave as you sip from your coffee cup I'm gone mentally, but I'd rather be there than here Artificially And it's just one into another And we're already there Mistakes that I've made, the things that I bear I'll make up for this all one day, I swear Bear with me here Bear with me there I know my record of academics Can make me seem pathetic I'm not proud of the acne upon my face The shitty diet and late mornings I so shamefully embrace I'd meet up with old friends for small talk at dead ends We're laughing awkwardly and batting our eyelids But I'll ask you how your day was and have you heard about this? So we can both dismiss This awkward silence And it's just one into another And we're already there Mistakes that I've made, the things that I bear I'll make up for this all one day, I swear Bear with me here Bear with me there The gulp in my throat The things that I know And haven't been told Thrown to the side The things that I've tried Would never equal to the tears that I've cried But I'll be pushing this art thing until the day that I die I might fail every time but it's worth every try

Lit window stores That look like they're closed Blue skirt school girls in the evenings No one knows No one knows XL Stop and Shop In the evenings, it's a flop The shop keep takes a smoke The museum takes it's toll I walk through autumn leaves Thoughts make my mind sink That's how much it hurts to think What awaits me this week? Tonight, or tomorrow? I feel like I'm in constant sorrow My frail interior Can't take constant harassment From fake friends Managers and customers Signing pens Only to pretend To be nice to you That's what they do God, let 'em do it again I swear I'm trying I swear I'm trying Will I ever get out of here? Will I aspire for something more? Than just talk with friends and a beer I swear I'm trying I swear I'm trying Lord knows I'm dying The chemist's almost closed And Mam has dinner ready I took the long way home Just to fight the mundanity

Visions of my small little round knees Getting bruised and scraped on concrete Oh, those days just seem so long ago Uncomfortable school uniforms Excuse from class permission forms Now approaching everyday feeling alone Is the norm Sick days take me home I wanna watch DVDs on my own Can I buy a magazine in Tesco on the way home? The view from the shopping trolley seat Just seems so long ago Places were more familiar And there were more people that I know Now everybody that I know Expects me to do all these things on my own How does one adapt to adulthood? I'll never know God, I wish I was a kid again I wanna go out the back and play pretend But maybe life would be easier If I could think a little bit clearer And I can see it like this and many more ways That I'll be stuck with a mentality of kids In their school days I relate to deflated footballs in small back gardens Animated films and songs that are ten minutes long Just to get lost in Lazy afternoons watching repeats of my favourite cartoons A black and white crest upon my chest And complaining to Mam that there isn't any food / oh ho But when you're ten years old you never really care If you've been good or bold As long as you've had your way You know that it's been a good day If I could talk to my younger self now I wonder what he'd say I think he'd ask a load of questions and wonder if much has changed Well if I ever get the chance to meet him again one day Here's what I'd say: Dear younger me, you still enjoy cartoons Dear younger me, I swear I'll be there soon Hey little me, our dreams still haven't come true But don't you worry because eventually, I'll find out what to do Hey smaller me, Mam and Dad's still here You'd be so proud to see how far they've come each year Hey younger self, don't second guess yourself Sometimes you'll feel like shit But mean the world to somebody else Then I hope he wouldn't ask me how I've been Because honestly I'd say, well.. Lately life's been kinda crappy Because gradually, I've realised that getting older Is just a perpetual attempt to try and relive the days When you were happy And if he'd ask me then If there were anything that he could do I'd ask him to stop time I don't want this I wish I could go back And still be you

Look at me, I'm so intelligent Because I live my life on preconceptions My only evidence is prejudice My cynicism teaches mannerism What's the point in giving things a chance? When we can just grasp it all in a glance? And it's a damn cold shame When we're judging things by their name Claiming we're the lords of the game Don't get mad at me, I can do that Cus my opinion is fact Even if it's right beneath your nose Shopping malls, designer clothes Chart music, blockbusters Avant-garde art and lack of culture Imperative integrity sincerity Creative genius ingenuity Authenticity gives you credibility Being yourself seems overrated So I'd rather be repetitive, dull and saturated And it's a damn cold shame When we're judging things by their name Claiming we're the lords of the game Don't get mad at me, I can do that Cus my opinion is fact Please, take control of your heart Embrace yourself and love the person you are Regardless of how cheesy, regardless of how cliché It's what makes you who you are I wouldn't have it any other way And it's a damn cold shame When we're judging things by their name Claiming we're the lords of the game Don't get mad at me, I can do that Cus my opinion is fact

I feel so unfulfilled I feel like I'm destined to work in some shitty shopping centre Drink dispenser Constant headaches kill me inside And I swear I'm beginning to feel like I'm dying That last part wasn't true I just want the best for myself My best interests are at health But I don't have any friends That I can attend social events with It's always somebody I vaguely know And I'd have to ask for their help I never feel like anybody likes me I always feel like such a nuisance Dear prudence Listen to me cry over my guitar about how If I don't get my dreams I might end up dying There's nothing worse than a life unfulfilled There's nothing worse than a life unfulfilled There's nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing worse than a life unfulfilled Hear me in my roses and thorns of honesty Hear me confess depression and anxiety Hear me admit my hatred for society Please confess my love for sincerity I'm admitting how I don't have any friends I'm admitting how my life is at split ends I'm confessing the things that I dread I'm confessing how inside I feel like I'm dead I just want accomplices and compliments And I just want to feel fulfilled There's nothing worse than a life unfulfilled There's nothing worse than a life unfulfilled

I'm dearly and sincerely sorry For some of the things that I do Sometimes I hate the person I am And I know, you do too My average-ness is never sufficient A poor result with good intentions Insecurities and cognitive dissonance Plague my being I know I should be optimistic But it's only remorse that I'm feeling It's good that you're doing well The people you're seeing Meanwhile I'll stay mad at myself And hate how I've been feeling A sorry case and pathetic face Low in the ranks Social political race I'm sick of black I'm sick of white I'm sick of sleepless nights and the constant fights I can't ignore I'm on my own Hoping for the best of tomorrow I've done some things that I can't change But maybe if I sing this loud enough You'll hear me out And I can change my ways All of my opinions are my own Sometimes I'm wrong and God, you've let me know Tell me again, until you've brought on my tears You've pinpointed my insecurites My weakness and fears I wish I could do better I wish I wasn't such a people pleaser If everyone would like me Then maybe life would be easier A sorry case and pathetic face Low in the ranks Social political race I'm sick of black I'm sick of white I'm sick of sleepless nights and the constant fights I can't ignore I'm on my own Hoping for the best of tomorrow I've done some things that I can't change But maybe if I sing this loud enough You'll hear me out And I can change my ways For now I must take pride in the things people disagree with For now my anxiety will have to hide Stuff down all the sensitivity Be a man Take it in your stride I'm dearly and sincerely sorry for some of the things that I do I know I can be an idiot I know you think that too

And I'd give up forever to touch you Cus I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven That I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breath is your life When sooner or later, it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight And I don't want the world to see me Cus I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin' Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive And I don't want the world to see me Cus I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

I think I finally understand what she meant When she wished she could write songs about anything other than death I'm opening up my chest and I'm spilling all that's left Simply for the sake of repent An endless conflict of coming to terms with dissatisfaction Plenty of complaints, little to no action Is it so bad that I want to just spill my guts? Is it so much to express that which I've repressed? Your validity gives me satisfaction I'm so sorry that I have to apologise for every one of my actions Sometimes I focus far too much on trying to be a good person That in the midst of all my effort my morality only worsens A black heavy weight lodged at the side of my head Impending on my mind everyday when I rise from bed This is why a few tracks earlier I said "Inside I feel like I'm dead" But take it with a grain of salt Sometimes we don't mean the things we said Here's to all those late nights and the sleep that I've lost Mental arguments when I've been battling my thoughts Here's to feeling so much guilt for something that wasn't my fault Here's to knowing what I am Here's to knowing what I'm not Here's to being left on seen Here's to what those meaningless things mean Here's to all those people that you instantly fell in love with When you first met them, never got to know, then decided you were done with Here's to being afraid what people think of you Crying in public when you don't know what to do But I find my strength in sensitivity And myself in vulnerability And I'll embrace any humility that I possibly can Because what if I'm just another local musician Who has the heart but lacks the ambition By the way here's the final cliche Here's that moment in a song when you hear their palms slide on The chords they're playing and you feel it deep inside because You understand what the lyrics are saying And I'm sorry For how this made you feel sometimes Do you think I enjoy it? Just because these words rhyme? I hate it all the time Some would call this an apology But it's just a redemption A long awaited letter to address my depression I'm so sick of it But I can't hold back anymore, I'm sorry for how this makes you feel It hurts me even more This is not an imperfection, it's just part of my complexion I don't need your validity or cultural inspection Well I'm fine with no one I guess I'll go this all alone I don't need anybody I can do this On my own How can you tell? What do you see? Please tell me right now Is this all that life can be?